Hey Lady Loves,
Last post, I shared my experiences with all the change that has taken place in my life over the last few years. In that blog post I discussed how I don’t deal with change easily and I know this may be a challenge of yours as well.
The thing is, whether if we like it or not, change will take place. So why not welcome it!
I remember when I was growing up my father would always say, “Precious, everything is a phase, nothing lasts forever”. As a young adult who (at the time) had a boyfriend, best friend and other “things” that I couldn’t have imagined losing…hearing those words pained me. I even argued against his point, like “whatever dad”.
While my dad was only trying to equip me with tools of life, even then I knew I wasn’t fond of change.
The interesting thing is no matter how much we’d love for things to stay the same, they won’t… and that’s okay! My experiences, especially the super kick ass ones, have shown me how to STAY UP, in the midst of change and so I thought why not share?
Here’s some steps I took – and one’s you can take – to welcome change:
Reach out to your support system. Anytime you are experiencing a major life change, it’s important to surround yourself with the people who truly love and support you. Not the haters and frienemys, but those who genuinely want to see you get on the other side of the hump. Leaning on the support and guidance of your “circle” will definitely ease the pain of your transition a bit. Keep in mind that a lot of times major change comes with some deal of loss – whether it’s loss of a home, job, loved one, significant other. When these situations hit, the last thing you need is someone who’s not really in your corner.
Ask for help. In a time where independent is “cool” and resources seem so far away, it sometimes becomes hard to ask others for help. I know what it’s like to fall into the “I’m good, I got this” mindset. In fact, Rock Your Reality is all about having a strong mindset, however there are some things that you shouldn’t have to bear on your own. If you’re not good, don’t fake like you are. Well, because there’s nothing cool about faking! Agree? I knew you would lol. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out and asking for help. You never know, your friends and family may be able to connect you with your next LIT opportunity or resource. Oh and remember your strength is in your vulnerability and not in your hiding, so again reach out. I know I was glad I did.
Be patient during your transition. If you’re like me you want things to happen on your time. However, one of the biggest reality checks is when you realize things don’t always move when you want them to move. It is often in our transitional periods that we are meant to get a message or lesson. When this is the case, things will need to run their proper course and the transitional period will persist until you actually “get” whatever was intended for you to get. So if you are going through a transition, I encourage you to be patient. I know it’s hard but try accepting where you are and being open to what change is here to teach you.
Be positive. When a lot of change is taking place, it’s important to focus on what is going right, what is going good, and what is working. The last thing you need is to go into a deep depression (like I did) because you gave yourself a mental beat down.
Here are some mantras that can help you focus on what’s to come:
- No matter what things look like, I am grateful for the blessings that are to come.
- Everything I touch is positive progression and it’s just a matter of time before it materializes.
- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and allow me to be patient with what you’re doing in my life.
- This change is part of my bigger picture and I am grateful for all aspects of it.
- My life and experiences are unique and special to me and I happily accept them all.
Make a plan. When things are changing this is usually a good time to look at where you’ve been and map out how you will move forward. You might consider asking yourself:
- What tools/resources do I need to move forward (training, new environment, new friends, new skills, support groups, talk therapy, etc).
- What steps do I need to take to begin to move forward?
- What will I do and when will I do it? Be sure to include goals and approximate date of completion.
Go have fun. What better way to deal with change than intentionally having fun in the midst of it. Change is hard, I know, but please be sure to take some time to love on yourself, connect with love ones, dance it out, sweat it out, travel it out, or whatever else you need to do to shift your energy from feeling icky to good!
Welp, that’s all I got 🙂
If you were inspired by this post, feel free to share it. Also drop me a little note on which one of these steps you’re most excited about.
I love you like XO (in my best Bey voice):)