If you’ve ever wondered if people pleasing can get in the way of you achieving your goals or pursuing your dreams, the answer is HELL YES!
Dream chasing requires a crazy (I mean insane) amount of focus, dedication, and sacrifice.
To really achieve your goals, you HAVE to be able to hone in on your ability to minimize distractions. This is impossible to do if every time someone pulls for your attention and time you say “yes”… or better yet, feel too guilty to say no.
I do get it. I get that you may be one who loves to see others happy, who doesn’t like confrontation and who sometimes you have a hard time standing up for yourself. After all, I used to be this way myself. However, when you stand ready to serve everyone, without any regard for your own needs, you do yourself much more harm than good.
In essence, you send a message to yourself – and others – that you are not worthy of your own love, time and attention. And you slowly kill your confidence, your spirit, and enthusiasm for life.
- Take inventory of which people/experiences energize you and which one’s drain you and become intentional about who and what you give your time to.
- Immediately cut ties with the things/people who leave you feeling depleted.
- Make your dreams a priority and build social activities into your schedule.
- Be okay with the fact that just because something is “fun” doesn’t mean you have to say yes to it.
And on making your dreams a priority, here’s 3 tips to help you stay on track:
Create a goal list each week
To develop the laser focus that you’ll need to achieve your dreams, you have to get good at planning and goal setting. I must admit I am not the best planner, but I’m constantly working on getting better. One thing I do, and that I suggest you do, is set 1 no more than 2 big goals to complete each week. This can be anything from going live on Periscope or Facebook, sending out your newsletter, pitching a brand, pre-scheduling content, etc.
Whatever the goals you set, write them down…
I suggest you make weekly goal setting part of your Sunday evening routine. Yes, each Sunday before bed, take down 1 to 2 major goals that you want to accomplish for the week. This way you have more direction and focus from week to week.
Write your to-do list each night
Now that you have your 1-2 goals to focus on each week, I suggest you take a moment each night to make a to-do list for the following day. To create your to-do list, you want to pick one of your goals and write down the steps you’ll need to take to complete the goal . For instance, if your goal is to “pitch a specific brand”, you will list everything you need to do leading up to sending your pitch – researching the brand, writing the pitch, editing/proofing the pitch, etc. Each of those items will go on your list as separate tasks to complete.
You can always build your to-do list, for each day of the week, out in advance. However, the goal is to have a list of daily action items to help you stay on track with your goals.
Practice saying NO
Let’s face it girlfriend, saying NO can be much harder than planning your schedule. However, when you have a clear agenda each day/week it easier to serve up a nice dose of no to those things that aren’t helping you meet your goals. There’s no other way to get good at saying no, other than practicing. Here’s a few ways guilt free ways to say “no” until you can build up your nah, nope, hell naw muscle 🙂
- I would love to! Unfortunately I am swamped right now.
- I’d love to but I wont be free to hang out for the next couple weeks. Let’s touch basis then.
- I am flattered that you asked me, but I can’t add another thing to my plate right now. I can point you to X person who may be able to assist you.
- I’d love to but now is not a good time for me, etc, etc.
The thing is this, when you say NO to others you are in essence saying YES to yourself. Your saying yes to a life where you are not being controlled by the fear of disappointing people. And each time you do this, you gain more confidence in yourself and gain the momentum that’s needed to bring your dreams to life. So get used to saying no and make no apologies for it.
Have you recently begun or in the past ditched your people pleasing ways? Have you already become a pro at using the tips provided? I’d love to hear about experiences in this area.. Share with us below 🙂