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Positive Psychology Practitioner, Chianti Lomax, speaks on Overcoming Obstacles…
As we know, failure is part of the entrepreneurial journey. Share 3 ways you’ve failed while pursuing your business or passion.
I’m a firm believer in being intentional about the words I speak. Especially when it comes to the story I tell myself (and others) about my life. What I know for sure is failures are not final, they are simply lessons. I like to speak from the lens of “lessons” that I’ve learned and that I am still learning as opposed to failures. The three lessons that I’ve learned on my journey are:
1. Everyone will not understand your journey. It’s not your job to make them understand. Your job is to focus on your Center (in my case God), your vision, and investing your time into things that move you closer to where you’re try to go.
In the past, I would get so bummed out when people didn’t get why I wanted to share my tools of “happiness” with millennial women. I would worry myself into weeks of being stagnant. It was so bad that I would do everything other than work on my coaching business. I had a mentor share this profound thought with me,
“There are people who are divinely assigned to your purpose. The people who need your message will hear it and it will change their lives. Stop worrying about who doesn’t get it. Focus your energy on those who want what you have to offer. You had a purpose before any of those other folks had an opinion.”
2. Perfection is overrated and is the quickest route to being broke. Over the past 5 years, I’ve purchased over 5 different domain names for a business ideas that never made it off the ground.
Each time I would find a reason not to launch these “good” ideas. Each time I talked myself out of why the website wasn’t ready “just yet.” Each time I allowed my need for perfection to stall an idea, and before I knew it someone else had jumped out of the window before me to launch something VERY similar out to the masses.
Towards the end of my 7-month coaching certification program, I did an intense self-discovery exercise with my coaching partner. She helped me to uncover my intense case of analysis paralysis.
I realized that my need for “perfection” was really a hiding place for fear. In that very moment, I kicked fear and perfection to the curve, and made the decision to launch chiantilomax.com – grammatical errors and all!
3. My Race. My Pace. Comparison is another shortcut to being broke – mentally and financially. When I focus on what other people around me are doing, I quickly lose sight of my own goals. I would find myself getting caught up in the “I’ll sleep when I die” movement, and quickly became burnt out.
I quickly realized that focusing on my own lane helped me to create a more realistic perspective on the growth of my business and on how to set realistic goals to move it forward.
Of course “winning” is less about if you’ve failed and more about your ability to press forward. That said,what do you do/what tools do you use to ensure forward progress?
My toolkit to ensuring that I don’t get “stuck” is comprised of three things:
1. My Presidential Cabinet: I have around 3-4 friends that hold me accountable for my goals. They all have different strengths, and I can reach out to them for different areas of my life. It’s so important to have people in your life that aren’t afraid to pull you to the carpet when they see you getting off track.
2. My 1:1 Quarterly Goal Review: I capture my goals in an electronic journal (via google drive), and then I schedule time (at least once a quarter) to review my goals, appreciate what I’ve accomplished, and also readjust them where needed. I think we oftentimes get stuck by trying to accomplish goals that are no longer of service to our purpose.
3. My Weekly Reset Day: I know this isn’t going to sound sexy, but I really believe in the power of rest and resetting. I have a set day (typically Sundays) where I set aside time to re-energize my mind and body.
Burnout is real. When I’m super tired I’m less productive, and my brain doesn’t like to cooperate. Sunday is a good day to catch up on my favorite personal development podcasts and/or books. It’s also a good day to set a few “must-do” goals for the week. So I rest, reset, and review. That keeps me from getting catching the “blahs.”
Tell me about a time when you were resistant to making changes that you knew would benefit your business/passion. What caused the resistance?
After consulting with my Presidential Cabinet, I came to conclusion that it was time to let it go. Surprisingly, after a heart to heart with my friend, she was feeling the SAME way, and we both agreed to dissolve our organization and move forward with our individual pursuits.
Once I put down my passion for the nonprofit work, and picked up my purpose of guiding other women into their own versions of happiness, I started experiencing a life of flow. Resources and clients for my coaching business just started to fall into place.
In the past few months, what is the smallest change you’ve made that has had the biggest positive result?
When things in your business and or personal life feel dull – how do you stay inspired?
A few of my “happy inspiration” tools that help me stay inspired are:
Surrounding myself with innovators and goal-getters. I once heard the quote, “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you need to find a new room!” So, I am very intentional about surrounding myself with people who inspire me and challenge me to reach the new levels in my journey.
Podcasts are a Godsend. I have a few podcasts that I tune into daily. Oftentimes, they help to get my thoughts flowing into the right direction. Here is a quick list of my favorites right now:
- The School of Greatness hosted by Lewis Howes
- #MyTaughtYou hosted by Myleik Teele (my BFF in my head),
- The Friend Zone hosted by HeyFranHey, Dustin, and Assante
- Elevation Church hosted by Pastor Steven Furtick
Music is my medicine. I have a “Selfie Love” playlists that consist of every genre from hip hop, pop, and even a few gospel tracks. A few songs from my playlist:
- Soulstar (Musiq Soulchild)
- So Ambitious (Jay-Z featuring Pharrell)
- Love Myself (Hailee Steinfield)
- i (Kendrick Lamar)
- Sink or Swim (Jacob Banks)
Share a quote, scripture, affirmation or mantra that has gotten you through challenging times.
My go-to bible verse has always been: Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto him who is able to do all things exceeding, abundantly above all we more ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.”
Chianti Lomax is a Millennial Trainer, Certified Personal and Executive Coach, and Positive Psychology Practitioner with a passion for inspiring millennials to launch into happier living.
She is fondly known in the millennial community as the “Happiness Curator”, and in early 2016 she launched the Happy Pop-Up, a fun and interactive learning experience that introduces the science of happiness to the millennial community. Learn more about Chianti and her by visiting www.chiantilomax.com