Alright, ladies, I hope you liked last week’s post where I talked about letting go of insecurity. If you haven’t read it yet, make sure you check it out.
This week I’m going to cover letting go of comparison. Comparing yourself to others is so easy to do. In this age of Instagram, Snapchat and Pinterest it’s easy to fall into that trap. You see the cool pictures, smiling faces, awesome outfits and think to yourself, “Why can’t my life be so nice?”
Trust me, I’ve done it too. Thinking this person has their shit all sorted out; running a business full-time, traveling and still having time to post great pictures of it all. Some days I’m just trying to get out the door in matching, wrinkle free clothes.
As we know, comparison is truly the thief of joy and so I wanted to share 5 quotes to empower you and to help you stop comparing yourself and your situation to others.
“Your story is unique and so, so different…”
It might seem like a no-brainer but it’s worth repeating: No one is like you. You are a unique person with your own qualities, skills, and personality. Your situation is not the same as someone else’s. In an article on Forbes.com, Lisa Quast recommends to start seeing everyone as their own unique individual, including yourself.
“Her success is not my failure.” Latasha Haynes
In an article called Stop Comparing your Life. Start Living It on BecomingMinimalist.com, the author states we tend to compare our worst to someone else’s best. If something isn’t going so well with you right now it’s easy to feel down when you see what others are doing well. Those awesome moments captured on Instagram or Facebook should serve as inspiration and not a reason for you to beat yourself up over something that isn’t going so well with you now. If you see another woman winning, celebrate with them…send congratulations in the comments or DM. This is one sure way to kill comparison (and jealousy too for that matters).
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Iyanla Vanzant
Those words might seem a bit strong but they are so true. Another way to put it is “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Matt Mayberry on Entrepreneur.com says your emotional energy can be draining and damaging if you focus on what everyone else is doing better than you. Focus on your business or your goal. Chances are your competition (as you might think of them) aren’t so focused on you.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it.”
Comparison is like a never-ending spiral. The article on BecomingMinimalist.com also says there is no end to the comparison game. You will most likely find something or someone to compare yourself to. Churchill said, “you will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”
So STOP NOW!
Mayberry recommends practicing an attitude of gratitude. He says to think about what you have and what you do well. Don’t worry about what the other girl bosses are doing better than you. Rather than comparing, think of how you can work with another awesome lady to make things happen.
“Don’t compare your beginning with someone else’s middle.”
It’s definitely easy to compare but we often don’t know what someone else had to go through to get where they are. They might have struggled with the same challenges that you are now experiencing. It’s better to keep in your lane, work on goals, your business and whatever else is going on with you.
Life isn’t a race. You should be working on being better today than you were yesterday. Those pics on Instagram are usually well thought out and planned way in advance. If it’s Facebook, your friends most likely share the great stuff and skip the moments when things aren’t so grand. Even if it’s a favorite blogger who is celebrating the successful launch of a product or service. Don’t drag yourself into that hole of comparison. Most times it’s hard to get out.
Karl Lagerfield said personality begins where comparison ends. People won’t see how awesome of a girl boss you are if you’re too busy comparing and diminishing your black girl magic.
I know it’s hard though – so let me ask, how do you tackle those moments when you find yourself comparing?